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Your baby doesn’t need to sleep train–YOU DO

If you’ve been scouring the internet looking for answers on how to get your baby to sleep, I bet you’ve come across A LOT of information about sleep training and cry it out methods. And yet–you’ve continued to keep searching because those two things make you feel uncomfortable or maybe you gave it a try and hated it. Not one part of you wants to do that–and you don’t have to!

I am here to help you figure out how to get your little one to sleep WITHOUT resorting to cry it out or sleep training methods–but YOU my friend are gonna have to do something. YOU are going to have to sleep train yourself!  Because when you understand what’s actually normal and make certain mindset shifts you may realize your baby doesn’t actually need sleep training after all.

What’s out in the world about baby sleep is deceiving.

When I had my first baby–I was a mess. I wanted so much to do motherhood the “right way”. Honestly I didn’t want to mess up my kid, which in turn motivated me to read, research, watch, and learn everything possible about babies and sleep. Because even with all my expertise and profession–I felt so unprepared to be a mom. (Mostly because that’s what all the research was written to make me think I should feel that way!) 

But even after all the books, YouTube Videos, and researching–everything made me feel like I am doing it wrong, because my baby wasn’t sleeping. Everything I read seemed to suggest I wasn’t doing “it” right and like my baby was anything but normal because he wouldn’t follow exactly what they were saying. And that seems to be where parents (maybe even you) have felt the defeat like I guess I have to sleep train. But now that I’ve been through that sleep deprived fog, and looked at things for what they are–there is just SO MUCH BS out there. 

I’m here to tell you not only is your baby a normal freakin’ baby! And that “training” that’s being toted has nothing to do with the baby, it has to do with the spread of outdated information. By gaining an understanding of how babies’ brains, and development actually work, baby sleep seems like an entirely different concept. Because the truth is nothing like what is being painted in the sleep training world.

Understanding what normal sleep actually looks like makes the difference.

When you realize what biologically normal sleep is and what sleep looks like for breastfed babies you realize that actually, not much is wrong at all. The thing that’s wrong is the expectation that has somehow grown into this wildly unrealistic concept that all babies from all over the world, all cultures, all of everywhere are exactly the same. 

How can that be? We know that parenting decisions are influenced by so many intersecting factors like culture, biology, life experiences, values, economic status. So how can all babies be the same? They can’t! Which honestly is why I started Talkin’ Sleep! People shouldn’t be forced to do things that don’t work or makes sense for them–but I digress. 

Normal sleep for babies (and toddlers actually) is different at each age and stage of development. What is normal for developing humans (i.e. babies and toddlers) is NOT the same as what is normal for adults. But much sleep expectation and information is actually based on adults! This understanding of what to expect is really a big eye opener for many parents, and it’s typically where I have families start. Because before you can know if your baby’s sleep is normal or not you have to know what is normal. Now no worries–I’m not gonna have you searching the internet for answers. You can grab my FREE Normal Baby Sleep Guide here to get started

It’s time to admit– after becoming a parent, you are changing as a person.

The person I was prior to having my first baby and the person I was after was not the same person. And not in some metaphysical way. .there are literal physical brain changes for parents and for babies as they develop as we become parents. Which in turn requires some mindset shifts. This acceptance of certain things that will be lost from your life before, and realization of the things that will be gained. Things like giving up going to the bathroom by yourself. (This is both a joke and a warning. LOL)

For me and many other families–prior to this acceptance, everything I was doing was focused on getting back to who I was before. The more I tried to adhere to those unrealistic expectations from sleep trainers, and well-intentioned family members–the more I broke.  But once I internalized what was scientifically normal for baby sleep something clicked. Acceptance started to come through because I could see I wasn’t doing it wrong–it just was what it was. And that was the comfort I had needed all along. 

Dear Expectant Families, you need to know this…

If you’re reading this while you’re pregnant or expecting or maybe you’re expecting your next one–please do yourself a favor and learn about normal baby sleep. I don’t want all the unsolicited advice (that’s bound to come in) to make you feel like you’re failing every day. Because you are doing amazing. 

Help yourself set some realistic expectations for life once the baby arrives and grab our free normal baby sleep guide that shows you normal sleep patterns based on biology based on breastfed babies, so you don’t feel like something’s wrong with you or your baby. 
With that said, it was also important for me to know what are signs that maybe things are not normal? What are signs that there are things that I need to shift and change? What is my baby’s sleep telling me, okay? It is also important to know when things are not normal when you actually need to reach out for help. And I can help with that too. But just in case here’s a 14-Day pass for you to sneak a peek into the Normal Infant Sleep from Baby Sleep Essentials.

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Have you taken our sleep philosophy quiz?

Not sure how to approach sleep with your family? With the help of this short buzzfeed style quiz you can find out your sleep philosophy.

Once you're done--we'll email you a sleep education checklist to help you dig into your unique approach to sleep.